i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
