guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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