Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
