yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
