Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
