no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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