My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize