everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
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After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
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Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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