Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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