There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
