can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize