u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
