Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it's great music for shaving your balls
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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