But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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