he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
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