My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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