STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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