My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
