Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
