Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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