Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
