i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Be still, my beating vagina.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
