I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
