I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
