They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
