I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
