Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
