You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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