It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
