bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize