stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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