im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
