i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
