Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
