took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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