Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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