how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
