Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
