Can i not drive my cunt home
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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