If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
