when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
