Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
