what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
