what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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