So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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