Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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