you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
