i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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