Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
