i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
