i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
