Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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