i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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