There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My vagina just recognized that song.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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