Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
