gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
