It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
