Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
