Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
