woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize