So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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