Plan B is the new Plan A
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize