Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
