It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
