He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
