he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
