Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
