I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
where are my pants?
in the oven.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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