guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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