i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
