a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize