I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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